REINTEGRATING THE DIVINE FEMININE INTO MAINSTREAM CULTURE
By
Lori Lynn Brandt
Transpersonal Integration Paper
Submitted
In partial fulfillment of the requirements
For the degree of Master of Transpersonal Studies
Institute of Transpersonal Psychology
Palo Alto, California
10/01/2009
Approved by:
___________________________________________ __________________
Ruth Judy, Ph.D Date
____________________________________________ ___________________
Henry Poon, Ph.D, Chair, Global Program Date
Table of Contents
Chapter One: Introduction…………………………………………………………1
Chapter Two: The Journey Begins………………………………………………………………………………5
Chapter Three: Divine Feminine…………………………………………………………………………….13
Chapter Four: Professional Vision……………………………………………………………………………….19
Chapter Five: The Journey Continues…………………………………………………………………………...24
Appendix A: Workshop
Outline……………………………………………………………………………...28
Appendix B: Goddess
Poetry……………………………………………………………………………….32
References…………………………………………………………………………..34
ii
Chapter One: Introduction
Over the course of the past two years, my interest in women’s issues has grown stronger and deeper and is now infused with a spiritual dimension that was lacking prior to beginning this transpersonal journey. I have always been passionately concerned with the myriad injustices in our society, in particular with the way such imbalances in our culture affect women’s development, sense of self, and efficacy in moving successfully through the world. My own burgeoning spirituality has only enriched this passion as it is adding a richness and depth that has been missing. Until this journey began, I fueled my passion with anger and anger alone is rarely effective: there must also be a sense of purpose and a sense of something larger than oneself. My awareness of the Sacred and of women’s divinity has given me a new direction in my desire for change and the betterment of women in particular and, more globally, all beings and the planet.
In this paper, I will be addressing some of these injustices through discussion of patriarchal systems and the damage such a cultural direction can and does cause for women. I will also consider the need for more goddess imagery in mainstream culture. I feel that with the media bombardment of unhealthy and unrealistic images women are no better able to celebrate their uniqueness in this modern time than in more repressive times past. I will also discuss the need for rites of passage for girls and women that celebrate all the amazing changes that women undergo in the course of their lifetimes, from menstruation to menopause and beyond. I will discuss the connection between women and nature. Women and nature have been linked throughout history and this has not always been in a complimentary or healthy way. One aspect of my work will be to explore ways to incorporate the Divine Feminine into living more authentically and simply on the planet, and subtlety charge the tie between female and nature with positivity and reverence for the Earth Mother. Lately, I have been called to “live simply and teach.” To this end, my intention is to increase my knowledge base about green living and thus enable myself and others to live more lightly on the planet. I am in the early stages of learning about voluntary simplicity. I believe that creating a sense of reverence for the divine feminine and the earth can be intertwined more effectively by living a life of harmony and simplicity.
The transpersonal is integral to the topic of women’s issues and spirituality. The need for integration of mind/body/spirit is paramount for all beings but is particularly important for women—young and old—because of the covert and still existing current of misogyny that flows through our culture even today. The need for women to have a sense of connection to the Divine or Sacred in a form that looks like them is vitally important to our emerging and changing world. In order to create a healthy and whole society, be it local or global, there must be changes and shifts in perception of what is beautiful, acceptable, and healthy; there is a genuine need for all humans to be recognized as equally valuable.
It is my hope that bringing Goddess imagery and education about other ways of knowing into the collective consciousness will help facilitate the shift toward a more profound sense of connection amongst all beings, woman and man. I feel that as women accept images of the Divine Feminine as part of their cosmology a sense of healthy power will become part of their being and manifest outwardly in more acceptance of their selves as they are rather than trying to fit an unrealistic mold created by the media and the culture at large. If such acceptance is manifest and women themselves reject unhealthy and restrictive roles, society itself will undergo a shift toward a more transpersonal worldview.
As I move into the future as an older woman, women’s issues and cultural perceptions are very relevant to me personally. If the cultural perception around women’s worth and divinity do not change, older women will continue to be viewed as valueless and will be ignored and young women will continue to be inundated with messages that they are not pretty enough, smart enough, and all the other false messages that patriarchal institutions send out via multi-media. Because of my fears about the fate of women, young and old, I feel strongly that educating women about the possibility of different paradigms than our current patriarchal worldview is vitally important. Additionally, teaching women about their divinity and creating safe containers for growth and exploration is a necessary step toward our transition to a more transpersonal worldview.
My own growth and deepening spirituality has served to fuel my desire to help other women find a sense of their authentic selves and potential. I also feel that it is my duty as an older woman in this culture to show younger women that there are other ways of seeing the world. I think that such new vision comes from education and new experiences; this need for education and a safe space for growth is a large part of my professional future. It is my hope that I can help with this shift by working with and for women to facilitate acceptance of self and to also help women live more authentically and have greater efficacy in their own lives. In the present economy, I am not entirely sure how this work will come into being, but once the financial climate improves, I am hopeful that people will once again have the means to pursue self-knowledge and growth. I plan to create various workshops and rituals that will allow women and girls to discover and explore their most authentic, divine selves, or as Plotkin (2003) beautifully articulates it, “When a person encounters her individual soul (…) we are more likely to say she has uncovered her unique gifts, her destiny, her life purpose, or personal meaning
(p. 30). I would be honored to facilitate this uncovering of soul in some small way. I would also like to incorporate writing into my work. Further, I suspect that as the economy changes over the next few years people will have changed as well. There is movement even now toward a shift in priorities—connections to family, spirituality, and the planet are becoming increasingly important. I feel that this is an excellent time to help shift perceptions about divinity and sacredness.
In the next chapter, I will describe my transpersonal journey, both the origination of the call for change and the areas of most perceived growth. In Chapter Three, I will explore the divine feminine and the impact that it has made upon me, my sense of the sacred, and its influence on my concern for women. Chapter Four will delve into my vision of my professional future and how the divine feminine will infuse and inform the nature of my work. In Chapter Five, I will develop my future plans and explore trainings and additional education that will help me reach my goals.
Chapter Two: The Journey Begins
I arrived at ITP with a love of learning, curiosity, and an eagerness for new experiences. I had just graduated from a small university with a B.S. in sociology and knew that I wanted to go forward with my education. However, after applying to traditional universities, I felt that something was missing, that something undefined and deeper was tugging at me. Whereas I certainly still loved the study of sociology generally and women’s issues specifically, there was a call—but to what I did not know. Moody (1997) describes the nudging within me beautifully. He writes, “the change may start as a small but gnawing dissatisfaction that is not necessarily connected with any particular event, a longing or agitation that cannot be put into words but will not go away” (p. 69). After being accepted to Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, I began what were to be a life-changing experience and the beginning of a journey to answer that call.
In the beginning, I struggled a great deal with the deeper, more comprehensive academic work at ITP. I am skilled at writing dry, academic research papers in which the “I” is not to be included and so being asked to look deep within myself and reflect upon the essence of a subject was frightening, to say the least. However, I soon realized that in order to answer the call that led me to ITP I would have to set the fear aside and dive in! It has taken some time to find a balance between pure, dry academia and self-reflection, but I believe that I have done so. The value in fully embodying a subject on all levels is enormous. I feel that the ability I have gained in not only writing academically sound papers but also papers with intuitive depth will increase my skill at teaching others. I also came to realize that my journey to find my connection to spirit would only come from embracing and embodying the soul-searching that self-reflection and experiential material demands. This shaky and tentative beginning led me to my increased knowledge of spirit.
At the outset of this two-year journey, I had little knowledge of spirit, at least not in any felt or intuitive sense. My interest in spirituality and/or religion was purely academic. However, at some point just prior to applying to ITP, and I cannot pinpoint the defining moment, I felt a stirring deep inside myself. I began to suspect that there was more, something greater than myself, greater than the world I could see. I began questioning everything I thought I knew and had been told; I began the task of reviewing my beliefs or lack of them.
I had long ago abandoned the religion of my childhood, but I began, at this point, to examine my motives for leaving the Mormon Church. I needed to determine if I left out of childish pique or if the faith truly did not resonate within me. I discovered in this soul-searching and honest process that the Mormon religion was genuinely not for me for more valid reasons than youthful anger. I realized that I struggled with and refused to accept the secondary role that women play in this religious tradition. It was at this point that awareness of inequality and misogyny in spiritual traditions and indeed the world-at-large found a home in my spirit; it was the fledgling beginning of what would come to be my focus. This knowledge, coupled with my sociological education and first year of work at ITP, ultimately led me to my specialization in spiritual psychology.
My choice of specialization did not come easily. I had originally intended to specialize in health and wellness but a nudging from within kept telling me there was something else I needed to do. I sat with my uncertainty for several months before the intuitive knowledge came to me. I know that my soul’s keener awareness knew that I needed work that would challenge me to go deeper within, acknowledge restrictive thinking patterns, and confront my shadows. I doubt I would have whole-heartedly engaged in this work in a different specialization. Once I realized how beautifully study of the spirit in myriad traditions dovetailed with my interest in women’s issues and spirituality, I was overjoyed and excited about the path I had chosen. I have not regretted choosing spiritual psychology as my focus. The personal growth alone, from my perspective, has been profound.
At the outset of my journey, Bridges’ (2004) explanation of life’s transitions was particularly helpful and enlightening. Much of the book was relevant to the processes occurring in my own life, which I could not articulate properly to myself or others until reading Bridges’ book. Particularly relevant is his point “Every transition begins with an ending. We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up a new one—not just outwardly but inwardly, where we keep our connections to people and places that act as definitions of who we are” (p. 11). This is often a very difficult concept to accept but acts as a map for courage; I often re-visit this book for guidance. Moore’s (1992) book also impacted me deeply. I had not considered the soul as something that needed conscious tending. Truly, I had not given the state of my soul a great deal of thought until beginning this journey and being introduced to the concept. The “soul” for me prior to this journey was an unknowable thing outside of me; there was a significant split between my physical being and my inner being. This book made me reevaluate my very being. I have become fond of my soul, unfinished as it is. Moore (1992) writes:
When we relate to our bodies as having soul, we attend to their beauty, their poetry, and their expressiveness. Our very habit of treating the body as a machine, whose muscles are like pulleys and its organs forces its poetry underground (…). (p.172)
This passage truly resonated for me because it explains so precisely how I viewed my body and ignored my soul within it.
Sinetar’s (1986) exploration of various spiritual lifestyles continues to inform much of my life, including my plans for the future. I am much drawn to the lifestyle of a “monk” (pp. 13-74) and plan to incorporate a time of solitude into my life in order to more honestly know myself. Particularly resonate for me is her statement “This close tie between knowing and doing may explain why so many of us resist self-knowledge. Certainly it takes great courage to know ourselves as we essentially are, at root “ (p. 14). Additionally, I am grateful for the introduction to May (2004). His exploration and explanation of the various stages of the dark night of the soul have been invaluable, and truthfully, have saved me from sinking even deeper into despair during those times that my spirituality was in transition and seemed lost to me. I am profoundly grateful for the introduction to the Christian contemplatives, John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila; I have always struggled with much of the current manifestation of Christianity, and learning about the contemplatives and mystics has tempered my tendency toward judgment. May writes, “Contemplatives of all traditions agree on one certain thing—the spiritual life is all about love” (p. 182). I find this such a powerful and beautiful reminder to look beyond judgments and live more in love. Finally, I must say, in retrospect, that I have grown, and continue to learn, grow, and change as result of every reading, many of which I revisit regularly.
Before beginning this journey of discovery and growth, I was not always congruent in thoughts, feelings, and actions; I often doubted myself and my motives and acted from old programming without consulting my spirit. It is in this area that work in spiritual psychology has made the most lasting and significant difference. Plotkin (2003) says “ego growth, soul embodiment, and spirit realization are equally vital to growing whole” (p. 35) and this is proving to be true of my ongoing journey. My sense of my own authenticity is one area where I feel I have made my largest strides. I am becoming more congruent and complete within myself, with what I believe, and how I manifest outwardly in this world. I have come to establish parameters and boundaries that I lacked before starting this journey. Whereas I am tolerant of others’ choices, I do not have to spend time with those people who routinely do dishonest, hurtful, and damaging things. I have gained the courage to release beings from my life who behave in ways not congruent with what they say. Before, I would have allowed all manner of distasteful and deceitful behaviors and excused them because I needed (I thought) to maintain the connection: such decisions are truly difficult to make and take a certain amount of courage. I believe that I have found this particular kind of courage on this journey. I no longer make excuses for myself or others. I make every attempt to “walk my talk” even when this requires taking a look at my most negative traits and habits. My authenticity has become intertwined into all aspects of my life as I become increasingly honest with myself and others and speak my truth; no longer do I try to fit into any boxes of “should” and “ought” that those around me would like to keep me in. Discovering my authentic self, becoming strong and solid in my own being has been a journey of pain, dark nights of the soul, and yes, joy.
Throughout this process, I have had many dark nights of the soul; some of these experiences have pushed me to the edge of my ability to cope. I have entertained dark thoughts indeed. During such encounters with my shadows and my darkest self, the loss of connection to the Divine was and is terribly painful. Throughout the course of study my connection to spirit has been lost and regained time and time again. However, each experience teaches me more about my own personal medicine—how I access spirit, soul, and the Divine. May (2004) states it thus: “(…) the dark night of the soul is not an event one passes through and gets beyond, but rather a deep ongoing process that characterizes our spiritual life” (p. 95).
A recent life challenge plunged me into yet another dark night of the soul. I was recruited to what appeared to be the perfect job in a health, wellness, and recovery center, which would use my skills and transpersonal knowledge. However, this job pushed me to the edge physically and spiritually. Having what seemed to be a “dream” job turn into a nightmare of deceit, anxiety, and subsequent joblessness was indeed a painful trial and one that has strengthened my intent and purpose to live authentically and ethically and only work with those who are doing the same. My sense of trust was shattered and my spirituality was shaky at best. However, during this experience, the class work had an uncanny relevance to what was happening and much of the material (and my wonderful friends and family) helped me through this most difficult time. Oddly enough, the class on spirituality in the workplace coincided with the above experience. Initially, I was elated. I planned to incorporate the information and advice found in the class materials into my workplace. However, when it became clear that my work environment was decidedly not spiritual in nature despite its claims, I became disillusioned and skeptical about spirituality having a place in the working world. The concept seemed so unlikely given our cultural climate of “individualism and competition in every area of the work environment” (Marques, Dhiman, King, 2006, p. 19). The material in class seemed irrelevant to the reality of work as I knew it. However, I soon realized that I was discounting what could be maps to creating my own work environment. I came away from both the experience and the class with a clear vision of how I will conduct my own business by incorporating many of the concepts suggested by Marques, Dhiman, and King’s on elements of a “spiritual work place” (pp.121-144).
Additionally, I discovered that my power of discernment needed much work: I learned to trust my intuition and to consult spirit in order to know when others are being honest. I have discovered, sadly, that simply because I operate from a place of purposeful honesty it does not automatically follow that other people do. This has been a very disheartening test of faith in basic humanity and one that has caused me to do much self-evaluation. Because the wellness center closed its doors, I encountered joblessness for a time and this experience rocked me to my core. Being jobless was a frightening challenge for me; it was an enormous lesson in dealing with uncertainty. It was a most fearful experience and one that I am still processing in order to better utilize the insights I have gained. I also realized, with the help of the material and a great deal of inner-searching, that I still have work to do in basing my self-worth on who I am rather than what I do for a living and what I have; this will be an ongoing process. I found Walsh’s (1999) exercises helpful, particularly in the chapters on living an ethical life (pp. 125-144). Additionally, Smith and Novak’s (2003) explanation of “the new Buddhism” (pp. 143-160) resonated for me. I gained clarity about what was important to me and how I choose to manifest myself in the world. I feel that following the tenets for ethical living will allow me to base my worth on my actions and thoughts. The authors write, “New Buddhists argue that working toward individual inner peace is not enough. What is also deeply needed is a corresponding effort to alter social injustices in order to lessen the suffering of humanity at large” (p. 147).
The work done has thus far planted a seed from which my future path will hopefully stem. I am increasingly called to simple, ethical living and existing more lightly on the planet. It is my desire to combine the love of nature, simplicity, and the divine feminine into my being and influence my outward manifestation in the world. I am feeling a call to study Buddhism formally as a raft to further self-knowledge, self-worth, and means of making a difference in the world. Although at this point, I have not fully committed.
However, encountering these painful and frightening edges has served to clarify and strengthen my connection to spirit. Indeed, it has been through this long and sometimes difficult process that I have come to acknowledge that my spirituality is based primarily in nature and the divine feminine, and it is the combination of these two themes with the addition of living in simplicity that will inform many of my future professional endeavors. Truly, the most beautiful and profound discovery throughout this process, both in my course of study and life experiences, is that when I feel most lost and alone without Divine support are the times that my connection is weaving new and tighter bonds through trials deep underground. It is through these difficult events and circumstances that I have learned the most about myself, my unique medicine, and the one thread that connects me to my purpose. An integral part of this thread connecting me to my purpose is embodying the divine feminine within my work and through my being, to better show women their worth and divinity. This topic will be explored in the following chapter.
Chapter Three: The Divine Feminine
The clarity I have gained from many of the events and the study of the past year has re-fueled my passion for the divine feminine and for the issues that women face. I feel that I have found my purpose in this changing world: to help other women become whole and to understand the covert damage done by unrealistic and unhealthy images in the media or the messages of the world at large. My deepening understanding of the underlying current of misogyny that subtly informs many of our social institutions and which affect women, old and young, has re-fueled my passion.
As a middle-aged woman myself, I clearly see the need for images that reflect women in all aspects: young, old, and somewhere in the middle. Images that celebrate woman in all her forms are also sadly missing in the current culture. I believe the lack of authentic images has created many of the dysfunctions that are so prevalent in today’s society. For example, middle-aged and older women in our culture are often relegated to the status of dried-up and non-sexual beings. Given the often negative messages that middle-aged women receive from the culture at large, how then do women no longer young and not yet old learn to accept themselves and achieve a sense of worth, beauty, and wholeness?
I think that women need an alternative viewpoint, one they can embrace and use as a means of transcending the cultural imperative of youthful beauty. For some women, exploring the goddess mythologies, and most particularly the crone aspect, can supply a different, more powerful meaning to being a “middle-aged” woman. The goddess mythologies provide a more in-depth and comprehensive view of femininity in all stages; the crone phase of the life of a woman does not have to be one of fading beauty, sexuality, or power. In fact, some comparative research by Sacks (1992) on middle-age women in various cultures states:
First and foremost, this is the time in which a woman enjoys her greatest power,
status, and autonomy. In some cultures this increase in power and status is gradual;
in others, there is sharp break with earlier requirements for women’s seclusion and deferential behavior. Second, both in societies that sharply oppress young women and those that have egalitarian gender ideologies, the freedom, prestige, and authority of women increases at middle age and comes closer to that of men than it did in earlier years. So, whether it is seen in relation to a woman’s own life or in relations to the lives of men of her culture and generation, middle age is a woman’s prime. (as cited in Ward, 2003, p. 68)
With such modern emphasis on the exterior and the superficial, it is all too easy to forget that middle-aged women have much to offer: wisdom, beauty, and strength of character. It would appear that a balance must be struck between living within the culture and yet not embodying the culture. Goldberg (1991) sums this balance up:
Success means balancing out being successful in the world and getting caught up or
tossed away by it. Success to me is being able to handle it and not getting turned around by believing other people’s ideas about who I am—being able to keep it in balance and
keep my life in balance. (as cited in Rountree,1991)
Unfortunately, this balance is difficult to achieve for many modern women. Our current visually-centered culture gives women few meaningful roles and/or role models to help ease the transition from young woman to middle-age woman. Perera (1981) says, “We also feel unseen because there are not images alive to reflect our wholeness and variety” (p. 12).
Given the lack of realistic alternative versions in the public eye of what is beautiful, attractive, and acceptable, there appears nowhere to go but obscurity as beauty (as defined by popular culture) fades. Conversely, Ward (2003) states in times past and in some cultures presently, reaching middle-age or past into old-age was an achievement, one which imbued women with wisdom, strength, and power; women were the village wise-women, healers and mid-wives, and this was/is also the time that a women’s individuality is more freely expressed
Because I have such a deep and abiding concern about the lack of goddess images in the western world at large, it will be part of my ongoing mission to bring such images into consciousness of not only women but men also. As the world is shifting, there is need for a balance of masculine and feminine principles. Even today, women are secondary in so many ways. While there is improvement, the forward motion of the women’s movement seems to have stalled.
Education is paramount to begin the rectification of the stalling of the women’s movement. Because of this need, I feel that my love of learning and passion for teaching others are two of my greatest qualities; I love to learn about the divine feminine, about how to incorporate this essence into my own life, and to manifest it outwardly by helping other women. My ability to see all women as beautiful will further fuel my desire to bring goddess imagery back into the foreground of consciousness. I believe that with the knowledge of the Goddess comes responsibility to show other women their sacredness. It is the work of older women to live authentically as strong, joyful, and intelligent women so that the younger women may see how that manifests in the world. We need to talk about it. As Bolen (2003) says, “a crone is a woman that has found her voice. She knows that silence is consent. This is a quality that makes older women feared” (p. 42).
Women have too long been valued for the valueless. It is time for all aspects of woman, as the Goddess and as themselves, to be seen, really seen and their voices to be heard. It is time to begin the task of bringing women’s wisdom to the larger arena of culture. It is time to begin healing the wounds of the patriarchy and for a paradigm shift to wholeness for women and men.
However, it is not only older women who are affected by the lack of healthy, powerful, and celebratory images in our society. Young women are bombarded with messages that tell them they must maintain a certain appearance, weigh an unrealistic amount, and behave certain ways in order to be acceptable. With rather rigid social expectations, there seems little celebration of difference and uniqueness. Another problem that remains is that many young women (at least the ones I am meeting) are moving farther away from the Goddess. Many of them are still caught up in looking, dressing, and acting in ways that are pleasing to men. If asked why they wear what they do, behave the way they do, etc; they just shrug. They often do not think beyond the billboard, television, or magazine. I suspect the lack of Goddess iconography as a cultural norm is certainly a large part of this relapse back into compliance.
I suspect that if feminine energy flowed through our consciousness and was ever-present in our outward world many of the problems of society would lessen. I think that eating disorders would never have gained such a stranglehold on so many of our young women. I suspect that rape would not be so prevalent in our culture and domestic violence would be rarer. Perhaps this is an unrealistic, idealized belief, but I do believe that seeing women as Sacred and of the Divine would make it more difficult to enact violence upon her.
To this end, I feel that men will benefit greatly from having the Goddess or divine feminine part of the cultural iconography. Men need the Goddess for many reasons. First, it is important for them to understand that women are real—flesh and blood with imperfections—not the slick, false images portrayed by the media. That understanding alone may help women stop abusing themselves to fit into unrealistic molds that damage body and soul. Second, men need the Goddess to show them that there is another path to follow—it may show men that they do not all have to embark on the cultural and ego-driven hero’s quest for conquest of others. It may thus give them a new identity of what a man is. Campbell (1988) says in his discussion with Moyers about myths and the hero’s quest:
If you realize what the real problem is—losing yourself, giving yourself to some higher end, or to another—you realize that this is itself is the ultimate trial. When we quit thinking about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness. (p. 126)
Perhaps as the mythology surrounding what “manly” behavior evolves and changes, there will be more room for the Goddess to be part of the cultural iconography. Further, I believe that the Divine Feminine would help heal the dichotomous split-view that some men seem to have regarding women. For example, I had a rather interesting and somewhat distasteful conversation with a man recently in which he clearly made manifest how harmful such divisions can be to men and women. Through his comments I realized that some men are still caught up in the “Madonna and Whore” syndrome. Dark and Light. Good and Bad. This is just one example of male power-plays, and the inability to see women as whole and full of potential lies at the root of much pain in relationships, never mind the societal implications! In addition, I have been thinking about how damaged such men are to live so split internally, seeing other beings as halves to be used. At a soul level, this is like a sickness to me. Men, too, pay the price for this patriarchal system-driven division. To view women as incarnations of the Divine might allow men to more fully access their own sense of the feminine, which might facilitate a world with more kindness, tolerance, and understanding.
As I will share in Chapter Four, it is my hope that my unique medicine will help heal the dichotomous split that patriarchal system sans the divine feminine creates for women and men. My extraordinary journey through various spiritual traditions, through exploring the spiritual aspect of women’s issues, and the previously uncharted regions of my inner-Self has honed my ability to understand and articulate what others are trying to say, sometimes when they do not know themselves. I have skill in utilizing language to create inner-images for others to help clarify distressing, confusing thoughts, or situations. I have also come to the realization that I have a passion to teach, and I feel that I can educate others—not only verbally and visually, but by setting an example of joyful, authentic womanhood. My growing capacity to nurture myself and find hope and solutions in even the darkest times is an important aspect of my medicine; I am a survivor of a number of extremely difficult circumstances and would like to share with other women that felt-sense of being held in a divine container. There is great need for such strength, comfort and wisdom in this most difficult moment in history. Admittedly, my wisdom and medicine is still “uncooked” and still expanding; this is a journey that takes a lifetime, and that is as it should be.
Chapter Four: Professional Vision
Because my medicine is still “uncooked” and evolving, my professional vision is admittedly incomplete at present. I have many dreams, aspirations, and goals but am fully aware that in the present economic climate some may be difficult to achieve. This past year has been a maelstrom of discovery, soul-felt beauty, and much hardship. Whereas the difficult times have not eradicated my passion nor extinguished my professional vision, I must also admit that they have tempered and softened my passionate need to create something grandiose. I am still very much concerned with the lack of goddess imagery and general lack of acceptance of the divine feminine; however, I am no longer fueled by anger. I have learned both true humility and its value. My vision is gentler, and I am realizing that it is not necessary to make huge sweeping changes. I have come to the understanding that helping even one person see the world differently can be an enormous thing. After all, the journey to real, lasting change occurs through many small steps taken by many feet. Change is often exponential in nature.
I do believe that significant changes are occurring in the world even now. The current economic disaster is affecting all beings on the planet in ways that will leave a lasting impression and, I hope, facilitate fundamental paradigm shifts for many. I am finding Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Fadiman & Frager, 2005) particularly useful. It presents a framework for my understanding of the world as it is now and how I fervently hope it may come to be manifest in the future. In these economically unstable times, there are a great many people forced by circumstances to operate at Maslow’s two lowest levels of development: the physiological needs, and the need for safety. This is a fearful and distressing situation and one that I have experienced first-hand. It is most difficult to remain connected to higher purposes while in the throes of the struggle for survival.
Yet, there also seems a potential for a positive and transpersonal outcome to the privations so many are enduring. Many of the people who have shared their stories of loss and adversity with me are also expressing a much greater appreciation for their personal relationships, for their spiritual connection, and for the small, ordinary blessings of everyday life, which they also say is fairly new to their consciousness. I can say with certainty that this is what is developing within me as a result of the hardships that I too have encountered. It would seem that Maslow’s strata of belonging and love is not dependent on moving upwards from the bottom two levels; it seems to be part and parcel of the two lower states of being. I find this encouraging. Fadiman and Frager (2005) paraphrase Maslow (1987) in describing “(…) two kinds of esteem needs. First is a desire for competence and individual achievement. Second, we need respect from others—status, fame, appreciation, and recognition” (p. 346). Whereas I understand these needs, it is my hope that the nature of esteem continues to evolve beyond the superficial into the deeper esteem of a more transpersonal sense of self-actualization, which Fadiman and Frager describe thus: “Self-actualization is not a static state. It is an ongoing process in which one’s capacities are fully, creatively, and joyfully utilized” (p. 347). The integration of mind, body, and spirit are entirely congruent with the ongoing state of self-actualization, in my opinion, and particularly important for women in this culture.
I believe that self-actualization and integration of mind, body, and spirit is vitally important for women’s physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Because we live in an extremely media-driven culture, I feel it is imperative that new Goddess-oriented images are offered. However, in addition to presenting wider and more diverse images. there is the need for education. It is my belief that women and men need a deeper understanding of how our culture became so dichotomous in nature and how the attitudes toward women became so rigid and limiting, even into today.
Misogyny is one of the most detrimental social ills that affect women, both in the western world and globally. It has been my experience thus far that few people have any idea how the roles of women and men came to manifest as they do; there can be little enduring change without understanding. While the ignorance of and practice of misogyny can be, and very often is, dangerous to women, I do not dismiss the potential harm that misogynistic, social undercurrents do to men. In fact, Holland (2006) states it thus:
At the root of a particular form of hatred, whether it be class or racial hatred, religious or ethnic hatred, one usually finds conflict. But, on the depressing list of hatreds that humans feel for each other, none other than misogyny involves the profound needs and desires that most men have for women, and most women for men. Hatred coexists with desire in a peculiar way. This is what makes misogyny so complex: it involves a man’s conflict with himself. Indeed, for the most part, the conflict is not even recognized. (p. 5)
Whereas this paper does not focus on the religious evolution of misogyny, in my future work I will be addressing the misogynistic belief-systems of many of the world’s religious traditions. It is my intention to simply present information—not to incite hatred of any tradition, but to encourage women and men to question how much of what they believe about themselves and their spirituality to be genuinely unique to them. I believe that questioning the roots of one’s beliefs about self, spirituality, and self-image is a most important step to becoming more authentic and strong, and is part of the self-actualization process.
Gadon (1989) quotes Georgia O’Keeffe, ‘”Before I put brush to canvas, I question ‘Is this mine? Is it influenced by some idea I have acquired from some man?’…I am trying with all my skill to do a painting that is all of woman, as well as all of me”’ (p. 318). This particular quote resonated deeply and strongly within me because I do indeed view all women as divine and beautiful. I believe that all beings have the right to “paint their own canvas” from a place of personal authenticity. It is from this framework of holding one’s beliefs up to scrutiny that I hope to encourage women to measure their selves, their spirituality, and body processes from an informed, holistic, and increasingly wide “yardstick.” It is my hope that my future work will encourage and support women in the self-discovery process. It is my convictions that as women question their own belief systems, grow strong, and become more authentic the world will be a richer and more tolerant home for all beings.
To this end, as part of my professional vision and work, it is my intention to create workshops, women’s circles, and rituals as safe containers for the exploration of and celebration of the divine feminine within all women, young and old. Ward (2003) points out that women “typically practice what anthropologists call embodied knowledge” (p. 186) and explains it this way, “Embodied knowledge is also the ability to do something practical. Women often experience and practice knowledge as narrative, stories, and first-person accounts. Women embrace knowledge as experience, revelation, and intuition” (p.186). I hope to facilitate this embodied, intuitive knowledge through experiential activities, lectures, and art.
I am convinced there is a need for more women, specifically middle-aged and older women, to step into the role of teacher and embrace their divinity in joyous and healthy ways. There is a need to share this embodied sense of the sacredness of women’s ways of intuitive knowing and acceptance of their bodies with younger women inundated with harsh and judgmental criteria. Perhaps what is needed is to embody and promote what Shinoda-Bolen (2003) calls a “juicy crone” (pp. 19-22), a goddess image that can be joyfully healthy for women and the world. As western populations of the aging and elderly increase, there is a need to re-embrace the concept of the wise woman and the imagery of mother goddesses to slow the descent of older women into obscurity. Such relegation to invisibility robs younger women of healthy role models and the world of the wisdom of experience. Bolen (2003) goes so far as to say,
What an enormous influence crones could have now! If even one out of ten American women became involved in changing the world for the better, there could be almost five million crone activists in these ranks. We have wisdom to offer and priorities that would make a difference. Women know that once a community becomes a safe place for children and women, everyone is safe. (pp. 98-99)
It is my intention to combine education about misogynistic undercurrents with the divine feminine and the re-introduction of more goddess imagery into my circles and workshops. While I realize that such subjects can be heavy indeed; my intention is to infuse the gatherings with hope and joy through awareness and possibility of change. Bolen (2003) states:
When there is psychological or practical support for making a significant change, change is more likely to happen. That others believe in us, or have the same perspective we have, or are role models, has a powerful and invisible effect. The power to resist the collective comes from being in a small circle of like-minded others. (p. 103)
Through my workshops, circles, and continuing research and writing, it is my aspiration to increase women’s awareness of their divinity, strength, and power. The appendix will include ideas for a workshop (see Appendix A). Perhaps this is an overly optimistic goal, but one I feel is important and necessary. I am well-aware there is much I have to learn. I greet continuing education and trainings with trepidation, eagerness, and excitement.
Chapter Five: The Journey Continues
The writing of this paper has brought home to me how much I want to accomplish and just how much I have yet to learn. This realization is both exciting and daunting. Exciting because I love learning and believe my vision of teaching others about the divine feminine and bringing goddess imagery to the mainstream is important to the welfare of women and men. It is daunting because the state of the economy and lack of jobs may make following my dreams most difficult. It is here that my spiritual connection to self, soul, and the divine gained through this transpersonal journey will carry me through the difficulties. I find Sinetar (1987) inspiring when doubts and fears arise. She writes, “The very best way to relate to our work is to choose it. Right Livelihood is predicated upon conscious choice” (pp. 10-13). Indeed, the entire book is a map to creating work that resonates, creates joyfulness, and gives value to the world. I am, however, realistic about the difficulties the current economic state may present to following my professional vision. I lost a job as noted earlier in this paper and know first-hand how precarious the world is at present. I present this tentative outline of my next five years in good faith that the state of the economy will stabilize in the near future.
This next year will be spent working. I have committed to a second job and must honor my agreement. Having two jobs serves a valuable and practical purpose: I am saving money to move from Utah to the Pacific Northwest. I feel called there for both personal and professional reasons. Facilitating this move will be one of the most significant immediate tasks for concretizing my vision. However, I will be utilizing this time to continue to grow personally and to gain skills to increase my professional efficacy. While honoring my commitment for this year, I will continue my study of mindfulness with Dr. Tate at the Center for Stress Reduction. I am currently attending weekly sessions at the center. I have an appointment to discuss further training and possible certifications with Dr. Tate next week. I am beginning a formal meditation class next week as well. Later this fall, I am enrolled in a two and half day intensive seminar on personal power, which combines experiential and psychodrama techniques. There are potential trainings and certifications available, and I will pursue those, finances permitting. I will also pursue my Reiki master training. I am currently a level two practioner and aspire to teach others. Additionally, I will return to my interest in shamanism during this year. I had begun some initial work but could not manage both school and the shamanic work. I will be attending Michael Harner’s The Way of the Shaman, taught by Beth Beurkens, MA, experiential workshop in Las Vegas, NV March 6-7, 2010. This will be an excellent starting point for future shamanic study. I am also interested in The Four Winds Society, directed by Alberto Villoldo, who teaches energy healing and soul retrieval. I have received four of the nine Munay-ki rites Villoldo brought to the United States and hope to receive the remainder.
I believe the skills and knowledge I will gain in these seminars, trainings, and practices this next year will enrich my journey to wholeness, authenticity and grounded power. I am convinced that I can incorporate the information from these diverse studies with the divine feminine in my workshops, circles, and teaching to create learning environments deep, rich, and joyful. This is the general context in which I foresee myself working.
Whereas the first year is concretely planned, the following years are less predictable and depend greatly upon financial wherewithal. However, the first step to creating an environment of health and growth, both personally and professionally, is moving from Utah. I feel a soul-deep need for simplicity, a sense of community with like-minded individuals, and an environment of openness to alternative ideas and practices. I have made every effort to find these attributes locally and have not found them. It is simply time to leave the desert for green places. My spirituality is strongly connected to trees, greenery, and nature and when in the Pacific Northwest, I always feel I have come home. This sense of nurturance is important to my body, mind, and spirit and to the manifestation of my future work. My connection to spirit will be stronger, and I foresee living in simplicity as part of my journey over the next four years and beyond. I plan to learn more about voluntary simplicity, which Elgin (1993) explains thus:
To live more voluntarily is to live more deliberately, intentionally, and purposefully—in short, it is to live more consciously. We cannot be deliberate when we are distracted from life. We cannot be intentional when we are not paying attention. We cannot be purposeful when we are not being present. Therefore, to act in a voluntary manner is to be aware of ourselves as we move through life. (p.24)
Certainly, it is possible to practice voluntary simplicity anywhere, but it will be easier in an environment that encourages simplicity, green living, and a sense of community. Additionally, I have friends who live in the Pacific Northwest who practice this way of life, and I will use these contacts to facilitate the move to simplicity and community. There are also many organizations that help one get started, particularly in Oregon and Washington. Living in such a simple, deliberate way will infuse my future education and work with authenticity, depth, and richness.
I will pursue additional formal education but am undecided at present how that will look or the precise timing. I remain passionate about women’s studies and will pursue that area of study. However, I have only begun the inquiry process. There are a number of schools that offer one-year certificates in women’s studies, and the short time involved is appealing. I am also considering ITP’s residential master’s program in women’s studies. The possibility of applying to a doctoral program is also being considered. I know that education geared exclusively to the study of women will lend credibility to my work in workshops, circles, and classes for women.
In the interim, however, there are a number of trainings available to increase my skills in ritual and ceremonial writing. I am making tentative plans to study online with the Celebrant Foundation and Institute when finances permit. The core courses teach ceremonial and ritual skills and writing, public speaking, and improve overall writing skills. I believe that this eight-month course of study will prove invaluable to my work. Additionally, I hope to apprentice at the Red Moon Training Institute in Sebastopol, CA. The trainings, quite short in nature, are specifically to train women to facilitate women and girl’s groups. More generally, I know that I need more creativity training, as I am weak in this area. I believe that bringing experiential activities to my workshops and circle are a necessary and joyful component. Creative writing classes are additional resource that will make me more effective in my work. I wish to include art projects, goddess poetry writing (see Appendix B), and creative movement in my workshops and circles.
Certainly, I have many plans for my continuing journey. I would like to claim that I have these trainings and continuing education neatly planned according to a schedule, but I would be dishonest if I did so. Much of the sequence will depend upon finances and the area I find myself relocating to. Although I will be very busy this first year, I will use the time wisely. In addition to work, the trainings, and the seminars I have planned, I will continue my spiritual journey and listen to my inner-Self for guidance.
Appendix A: Workshop
The workshop will introduce women of all ages to the concept of the divine feminine and goddess iconography. The purpose of the workshop is to help participants tap into their divinity and appreciate their own unique beauty by showing them healthy, alternative images. The sweat lodge introduces a spiritual component that typically has a profound effect on people. The group mural is a reminder of the beauty of cooperative effort and each woman will receive a piece to take home with her.
Workshop Outline Day One
(Times may not be exact due to nature of activities)
8:00-9:00 a.m.: Introductions and handout materials
10:00-12:00 p.m.: Lecture on Divine Feminine & Goddess Iconography/symbols w/slideshow & music
12:00 -1:00 p.m.: Lunch Break
1:00-2:00 p.m.: Finish Lecture
2:00-5:00 p.m.: Experiential Activities: group mural painting, clay goddess creation w/music
Supplies needed for mural: large roll of art canvas, various paints, brushes and beads, feathers etc, and large table. Supplies for clay goddess: red & white artist’s clay and beads, feathers etc.
5:00-6:00 p.m.: Dinner Break
6:00-7:00 p.m.: Guided Labyrinth Walking
7:00-8:00 p.m.: Guided Meditation
8:00-8:30 p.m.: Instructions for next day’s activities
Workshop Outline Day Two
(Times are tentative due to the nature of activities)
5:00 a.m.: meet by fire for instructions: Lakota-style sweat lodge facilitated by Kim Mahapai Reed
12:00-2:00 p.m.: Break
2:00-4:00 p.m.: Native Woman Stories and Music by Kim Mahapai Reed.
4:00-5:30 p.m.: Inner-child Scripting Activity by Renee Resnik RN, RET
5:30-6:00 p.m.: Short Break
6:00-7:30 p.m.: Feast!
7:30 p.m.--: Drum Circle and Dancing
Instructions and Directions given for day Three
Workshop Outline Day Three
10:00 a.m.: Meet at Designated Nature Spot
11:00 a.m.: Begin Goddess photography by Renee Resnik, RN, RET
Cutting the collective mural for sharing and a closing circle of sharing at conclusion of photo shoot.
Appendix B: Poetry
Included in this section are three goddess poems I have written.
Goddess Territory
Despairing, I search for the Goddess.
Has She left us alone here, in this time of plastic
Bereft of her divine love and guidance?
Or, has she been banished or pushed deep underground?
Women’s souls wander, rootless and groundless
Without Her divine presence.
Feeling, sensing, core deep that something,
They know not what, is missing.
Some undiscovered territory of themselves is lost or
In hiding, and there is yearning: to be found and whole.
Where is the Goddess map to ourselves?
Some lost women fill the Goddess void with sex, others
With religion, still others with anger. None of these
Things suffice: they are but trifles of the whole.
Despairing, I cry out for guidance back to her.
I implore the Sacred for a glimpse of her Divine presence,
Some small sense of connectivity: a sign to share with others.
Then, on a dragonfly’s wing comes the loving voice: open
Your eyes; I am everywhere. In your mother’s face, in a dear
Friends laugh, in a baby’s first step.
Look for me in places disguised; I live within all women.
See my presence shining through the tangles of a street
Woman’s hair and from a mad women’s eyes.
Revere me in old women’s gnarled hands.
Seek for me not only in grandiosity but in the ordinary:
I am alive; I am everywhere, and I am forever.
Tear the Kindness from Me
O Kali, come live in me,
Infuse me with your terrible grace.
Fill me with your strength and darkness,
Let me revel in my power.
Laughing in divine rage and destruction,
Lend strength to my sword arm.
O Kali, let the heads that I sever be those of my illusions.
Garland me with the skulls of ignorance, picked clean
By awareness of my totality.
Tear from me the idols of kindness, false piety, and goodness.
O Kali, be my constant companion while I destroy my false selves
And stand ferocious in my truth.
O Kali, cut away the kindness that blinds.
Give Thanks
Give thanks to the Goddess, who informs our sense
Of our own magnificence and beauty.
Goddess, help us remember our luminescent spirits as
They soar above those who would bind our wings.
Blessed be She who has raised fine, healthy children,
Who learned to walk on this planet with honor and integrity.
She, who is strong, helps those who suffer with
Pain, sadness, and distress.
Glory to Her that looks with tolerance and
Compassion on those who have wronged her.
Intelligence arms Her words with power and honesty
As She speaks Her truth.
Fierce is the sword she wields through dishonesty and
Deceit.
Honesty and integrity are her mantra as she interacts
With other beings on her journey.
Love speaks through her as she guides young women
And teaches them to see their own beauty.
She has the ability to endure all things and understands
Her own worth at last.
She has become staunch in her vow to stand in Her power
And give it to no one.
Glory to the Goddess who loves us all and in whom we all reside,
May all beings embrace the Mother.
Let it be so.
References
Bolen, J. S. (2003). Crones don’t whine. York Beach, ME: Conari Press.
New York: Harper & Row.
Bridges, W. (2004). Transitions: Making sense of life’s changes (2nd ed).
Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press.
Campbell, J. & Moyers, B., (1988). The power of myth: With Bill Moyers
(Flowers, B.S. Ed.). New York: Doubleday.
Elgin, D. (1993). Voluntary simplicity. (Rev. ed.). New York: Harper.
Fadiman, J. & Farger, R., (2005). Personality and personal growth (6th ed.).
Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Educational, Inc.
Gadon, E. W., (1989). The once and future goddess. New York: HarperOne.
Goldberg, N. (1991). In C. Rountree (pp.188-195). Coming into our fullness: On women
turning forty. Freedom CA: The Crossing Press.
Holland, J. (2006). Misogyny: The world’s oldest prejudice. Philadelphia, PA:
Running Press Book Publishers.
May, G. G., (2004). The dark night of the soul: A psychiatrist explores the connection
between darkness and spiritual growth. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco.
Marques, J., Dhiman, S. & King, R. (2006). Spirituality in the work place: What it is,
why it matters, how to make it work for you. Fawnskin, CA: Personhood Press.
Moody, H. R. (1997). The five stages of the soul. New York: Doubleday.
Moore, T. (1992). Care of the soul: A guide for cultivating depth and sacredness
in everyday life. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.
Perera, S. B. (1981). Descent to the goddess: A way of initiation for women.
Toronto, Canada: Inner City Books.
Plotkin, B. (2003). Soulcraft: Crossing into the mysteries of nature and the psyche.
Novato, CA: New World Library.
Sinetar, M. (1986). Ordinary people as monks and mystics. Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press.
Sinetar, M. (1987). Do what you love, the money will follow: Discovering your
right livelihood. New York: Dell Publishing.
Smith, H. & Novak, P. (2003). Buddhism: A concise introduction. New York:
HarperCollins.
Ward, M. C. (2003). A world full of women (3rd ed). Boston: Pearson Education, Inc.
Walsh, R. (1999). Essential spirituality: The 7 central practices to awaken heart
And mind. New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
.
