Soulful/Sensory Listening

Soulful Listening
Sensory Awareness

I decided to do something different for this exercise. I spent approximately twenty minutes in the sauna after work tonight. Typically, I meditate and do not focus on my sensations overmuch. However, I thought it would be interesting to not only “listen” with my ears but with my body as well.
The setting: the sauna at Gold’s gym. Usually it is not too crowded but tonight there were a lot of people: all men except for me.
Immediately, I became aware of being uncomfortable with being the only female in the sauna. I decided to sit in there despite the uneasiness of being surrounded by so much testosterone and explore what exactly what was happening. I felt slightly nervous and for no reason as initially no one spoke to me. Nonetheless, I felt apprehensive and slightly at risk. I could feel my limbs pulling in close and I realized that I was attempting to make myself small and unobtrusive. My observer started talking to me, asking what in the world I was afraid of. The observer also examined the fear and decided it was stupid! Apparently, my inner-observer is a snotty, middle-aged woman with an attitude! As I realized, through examination, that there was no real reason to feel this way, I adopted my usual half-lotus posture and began meditating. I could feel the heat begin to seep into me and relax my body. My mind began to still and for a time, I felt contained and centered. I was vibrating slightly and it was very pleasant. I became acutely aware of the sweat running in rivulets down my face and along my arms. I could feel my whole body becoming wet with sweat and steam; I felt at peace. My inner-observer noticed that I had successfully blocked out all the talk and laughter from the men for some minutes. Then suddenly, everything became louder and louder until I felt drowned in sound. I tried to return to my quiet state and center but could not. I began hearing the conversations going on around me with amazing clarity; I really did not want to eavesdrop but seemed incapable of not hearing. The sound seemed to be all around me and through me as well; it felt most odd. Finally, I just gave in to the hearing and began listening to the men talk—all the while in half-lotus and with my eyes shut. I noticed at this point that my hips were feeling the strain of sitting so long, but I ignored the signals from my body because the heat felt so comforting. My socialized ego-self began some negative self-talk at this time, telling me that nice people do not listen to other’s conversation, that I should just leave, etc. The inner-observer interrupted this polite yet ridiculous inner-conversation with the rather rational observation that if people are talking loudly about personal matters in a public place, then other’s being privy to the details was their own fault! Apparently my body signals changed at this point because some of the men began talking to me about meditation. I found it so interesting and odd that once my awareness of my environment shifted people began engaging me in conversation even though my posture had not changed, and I had not physically moved at all. While this was not exactly soulful listening to another, it was most enlightening. I have always believed that our energies interact and we can change our environment by shifting our energies and attitudes. This seemed to validate this belief. Another interesting observation resulting from listening silently, while not necessarily soulfully, was the realization that there is more than one observer in there directing different parts of the inner-dialogue—each with their own lens on the world. Truly, I have a committee in my head One aspect worthy of note was that I found that beyond the sassy observations above, there was very little judgment about what I was hearing. I simply noted the information and then let it go. This, too, will be helpful in a work environment, especially one dealing with human beings in pain and distress. It was quite fun also; one should never forget that all things and exercises can and should be fun!