Spiritual Resonance

Spiritual Resonance

Theories of Personality

I find it interesting that so many aspects of each tradition from the readings resonated for me. I liked most of what I read and am finding that I cannot seem separate how they make me feel in any concrete way. I do find that I am more enamored of Sufism at present, however.

There is a beauty and elegance in the teaching stories and in the exercises that appeals to the aesthetic in me. Additionally, most of the dynamics of growth make not only intuitive sense but psychological sense as well. The practicality of Sufism combined with the beauty of it aligns so well with the aspect of my personality that loves order. For me, the idea of Nafs or ego selves makes perfect sense and also fits neatly with what I know of present psychology. I have been thinking a great deal about the Key and the Light exercise on page 441 in the text. It made me think of being fearful of looking deeply into oneself and how often that is the case for me; I found it beautiful and useful—and I simply love stories!

Of course, Hinduism also contains many stories as well, but much as I enjoy them, they do not seem to resonate for me at a deep, personal level as do the Sufi stories. I do like the yoga poses and the chakra information. My ignorance of the many schools of Yoga was much revealed in reading this chapter in the text. I was excited by them and wish to learn more about that aspect of Hinduism and the Yoga traditions.

I am not sure that I actually resist any of the ideas from the traditions or exercises. I am wondering if I am just spiritually lazy at the present time. Some of the exercises feel like work—as they should. I am aware that growth of any kind takes effort and dedication; and truly, I am exhausted at present because of working so much.

Oddly, given my lack of physical vitality, it would seem that the sitting exercises in the Zen and Buddhist chapter would be greatly appealing—restful in fact. However, I am not finding them so. It is these exercises that I have some resistance to; I suspect that there is fear around the stopping and sitting: if I come to a standstill, I may not be able to start back up and continue to take care of my responsibilities. At an intellectual level, I know this to be fallacious thinking; vey likely, the opposite effect would come into play. Perpetual motion seems to be my coping mechanism at present—an excellent reason to continue to sit. Perhaps the need to get things done and quickly are part of the problem I am having with doing everything mindfully as Zen suggests; I simply do not seem to have the time to slow down while doing chores; auto-pilot is so much more effective when doing the mundane! All the more reason to set time aside to at least eat mindfully, I think.

I do like Tonglon practice most. Pema Chodrin advocates being easy on oneself and the “not trying” is appealing; and yet, again some old perfectionist tendencies seem to arise from this exercise. Old thought patterns of “if it isn’t hard, then it can’t be useful” are surfacing. I suspect that exhaustion plays a large role in these old thought and behavior patterns making themselves known during this time. Balance, balance, balance!!

I am still intrigued by Buddhism. I like most aspects of it very much. It makes great, good sense, but there is something about Sufism that resonates even though I know very little about it. There is a Sufi group in the area and I have talked about going to a meeting; perhaps I need to stop talking and start doing—I think that actual experience is what truly tells one if the spirit and body can incorporate it or at least facets of the tradition. I trust the universe at present to present me with a way for more time to explore these traditions!

"Every step of the Journey is the journey."

Zen Saying